Hi, my name’s Gideon. But you can call me “The College Baby.” I’m the little guy with the heartbreaking blue eyes that you see trying to catch your attention in the dining hall. Someone asked my parents to write about what it’s like having a baby in college, but my mum is too busy doing my laundry, and my dad is trying to finish his PhD this month, so I stepped up.
I live on Cranmer B with my mum and dad. I know it might seem cramped, living in a college flat with two old people (parents do take up a lot of space), but it’s bigger than the womb, so I’m pretty happy. I might not have my own room, but I like to sleep in my little bedside cot beside my mum anyway. It’s called a Snuzpod and I recommend it for easy access to the food source. I even have a spot on the living room floor where I do my morning workouts. (If I didn’t wake up at 6 every morning, I don’t know what my parents would do with their day).
Our flat overlooks the library lawn, so you might hear my mum’s made-up lullabies sometimes (she tries so hard to make them rhyme, I smile even when the tempo isn’t quite right). My parents are from Canada so I have had to teach them some British nursery rhymes like “Wind the Bobbin.” (I don’t think they know what a bobbin is, but I can only do so much). Sorry about the crying, I get a little emotional in the evenings because I don’t want the college fun to end. Shout-outs to Harry Rogers and Jemima Luxton for being my favourite neighbours, who have yet to make a noise complaint. (But who knows what trouble I’ll get up to now that my exams are over).
One highlight of my day in college is receiving verbal affirmation from Christine and Dawn in catering. I can always count on Christine to say “You’re gorgeous, you are! There’s my little man!” That never gets old. (Sorry for how my mum slows down the dinner queue). After dinner I like to take an evening walk by the river. I enjoy the tree canopy while my parents chat and the cobblestones bump me to sleep in my pushchair.
My mum and dad may not have imagined, when they were your age, that they would live in a college dormitory when they had their first baby. But I wouldn’t trade this prime piece of real estate and all your smiling faces for a start in life anywhere else! Thanks for welcoming me, St John’s.
The College Baby